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Tracy Maura enjoyed splashing around after a hot afternoon in Phoenix. This girl had a great time shooting until she accidentally sent the GPS location to her jealous boyfriend. Way worse than a butt dial. Luckily, Mr. Insecure was out of town.
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I took Hannah Tarley to eat at Freddy's Frozen Custard Steakburgers at the end of our shoot. Even after smoking a bowl, Freddy's isn't that great. So if you can, try to find a Five Guys or something. I do, however, recommend chilling with Hannah if you get a chance. She is sweet, friendly, and won't make you wear a silly mask. BTW, does anyone believe those masks at the Olympics are serving a real purpose besides optics? JK, I won't go there. I know we all just want to save lives and keep our fellow-man safe. No one should die from that stupid disease. No one! That's what cancer and diabetes is for.
"September. The calm before the storm. I remember going to Kyiv. It felt like Russia, but freer. It had it's rough edges too, a seedy underbelly, yet the people somehow appeared more optimistic. Things were heading in the right direction, even if slowly. Pretty sure that's all gone now. I hope I will get to return. I hope I get to meet more people like Nika."
I am a lucky bastard. Not only do I get to travel to Italy and photograph stunning women like Claudia Veneza. Not only do I get to eat squid ink pasta, sip a glass of fine wine, and jerk off after to women's indoor volleyball highlights. I get to do something even more satisfying. I get to bring you muffins along for the ride. I hope you enjoy this shyte and I'll keep trying hard to make it better in order to express my gratitude. Turn off your phone and sweep well tonight. More Claudia to come.
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"Part 2 as promised. Ariel really is incredible. And yes, they are natural. Truth be told, she in the late part of her first trimester. We got hella lucky with the timing of this one. And don't stress, there will be more of Ms. Gossimer. And for those who are stressing about the American presidential election, if the last 4 years have taught me anything, it's that this executive role is entirely superficial. It's similar to how the monarch doesn't actually direct policy in the UK. The shadow government simply does not approve of Trump as a proper spokesperson or feel he is difficult to control. But in the case where they allow him to win, I bet his most avid supporters will be overwhelmingly disappointed, as with any and all politicians."
"Introducing Jacie Verbena. I like her. She seems like she has a good time being photographed. Kudos to our contributor in Ukraine. Does your government ask your permission before sending its citizens to kill or die? Doubt it. War is dumb. Part 2 tomorrow."
Kurt Cobain was a pussy. He let us nineties-kids down. The new generation, like the one Vonnie Bean is part of, has a laundry list of profound issues to resolve and with the guidance of mostly talentless heroes. The apocalypse is right around the corner and the kids are still smiling, dancing, and making TikTok videos. They might be idiots, but I still enjoy them more than the idiots my age. The ones whose lives are dictated by mortgages, political affiliations, and favorite sports teams. Today's adults don't want the kids using drugs, making porn, or hurting anyone's feelings. Instead they offer what? Participation Trophies? An endless psychotic nightmare permeated by government surveillance and personalized advertising? Maybe Kurt was onto something. But he still is a pussy. Vonnie took an outdoor leak for the first time in the bonus video.
It's funny how we just accept the hatred of all things male now with woke culture. Just kidding, it isn't funny at all. Why? Because hate breeds hate and it will only be reciprocated and the cycle continues. Speaking of cycles, Erna O'Hara has a sweet old-timey ride. Pigs, I mean men, and probably some women, like to sit on their stoops and watch her ride by. Brooklyn has its moments.
This is the first contribution attempt by a photographer in Colombia. They did a hell of a job finding an incredible model in Valery Ponce and taking some beautiful shots, but definitely have room to improve. I asked the contributor very politely to shoot more of Valery or else I would find a nearby bridge to jump off. I hope they come through. I am a man of my word. And don't fret, I will return tomorrow with another newbie for you wolves to feast on. Happy Friday.
"I know what you are thinking. ""OMG, she's adorable!"" See, I told ya. That was my exact reaction, too. Gabriella Noren's thick curls and speck-tacular freckles send me to the moon. We encountered dark skies, rain, and pre-flight anxiety during these photos, but we were tenacious and managed to hodge-podge an exciting update. Expect more of this unique beauty."
I am finally on the mend from COVID. I bet I transmitted it last week from that goddamn senior citizen who delivered my food without a mask. Or maybe it was from one of the rotten children who play care-fee at the park where I perform my Tai Chi. Sure, I always wear double N95's but nothing is perfect. It befuddles me how many morons out there think it is still 2019. I just wish people were more considerate. But do not worry, gang. I will be back in full swing next week. Already brainstorming new locations for public smut. BTW, I did get a chance to add a bonus video to the update from 3 days ago.