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When you ask a woman if she is hungry and she says, a little, then you better get some food quick! The answer is never a simple, yes. It is usually something like, mother fucker why didn't you get me food when I said I was hungry?, referring to when she said a little. More of my profound insight and more of the extra-tasty Vonnie Bean to come. Shout-out to Bianchi's in Tucson. Bye Bye.
"Sammy Loble might be full of herself, but she might also have reason to be. We give attractive people everything while they are at their peak, and very little once we recognize their beauty's decline. It is a cruel game that only offers temporary victories. Ultimately, each player loses everything and goes home in tears. So maybe Sammy is on to something. Maybe we should all have portraits of ourselves on our walls."
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"I know it will be a good day when I get to look at photos of Alevtina. She is one of my most favorite models ever. And that has little to do with her looks, which are absolutely captivating. Ms. Batman stands out to me for her energy, her enthusiasm. I feel that my attention is in skilled hands when I devote it to her. She is a natural star. Back with part 2 tomorrow."
Hey guys. This was meant to be posted yesterday but my power was out until late last night. I spent most of the day foraging for firewood and trying to keep warm. Eventually, I gave up, drove a few miles to the gym, supervised females on the Glute Master Kickback machine, then jumped into the sauna. Anyways, I know you would rather hear more about Ariel. But would you really? Don't you just want to see more of her? I would. And the good news is that you will too, eventually. Have a nice weekend.
Hey, guys! Today I want to announce my re-retirement from photography. I just discovered the effectiveness of AI for creating art, so I will be relying on that moving forward. You might think I actually traveled to and photographed the beautiful Zoey Luna, but no, you would be dead wrong. I simply asked HAL 9000 to generate 68 teasy photos of a sexual Australian woman with red hair, petite breasts and a perfectly round rump. This set of images is what he spat out. Well, I am impressed. Sadly, AI is very costly, so I still need you to fork over subscription fees. I truly appreciate the support. Now open the doors, HAL.
Damn, Zach. It is hella cool that you made this job for yourself. I go to work everyday, dreading existence. I have begun a gradual process of poisoning myself. As part of my daily routine, I take a dropper of hydrochloric acid and give my coffee a generous squirt. I started out only adding a drop or two, but over the past few weeks I have built up to a much higher dose. The tummy tingle is an oddly pleasant sensation. Anyways, let me know if you ever need an assistant or something, it could be a real gamechanger for me. If not, I totally understand. Perhaps you could at least introduce me to Maddie Crump. Thanks in advance. -George Tipcorn
Here is contestant number 8 from the challenge that I ran last year. I got to meet up with Onna Metcalf in San Diego. She is quiet, but I like quiet. I wonder which of our last two American presidents would do a better job in my occupation. Would they be competent? Creative? Coherent? I am so proud of our country. God bless.
"I know what you are thinking. ""OMG, she's adorable!"" See, I told ya. That was my exact reaction, too. Gabriella Noren's thick curls and speck-tacular freckles send me to the moon. We encountered dark skies, rain, and pre-flight anxiety during these photos, but we were tenacious and managed to hodge-podge an exciting update. Expect more of this unique beauty."
"Part 2 as promised. Ariel really is incredible. And yes, they are natural. Truth be told, she in the late part of her first trimester. We got hella lucky with the timing of this one. And don't stress, there will be more of Ms. Gossimer. And for those who are stressing about the American presidential election, if the last 4 years have taught me anything, it's that this executive role is entirely superficial. It's similar to how the monarch doesn't actually direct policy in the UK. The shadow government simply does not approve of Trump as a proper spokesperson or feel he is difficult to control. But in the case where they allow him to win, I bet his most avid supporters will be overwhelmingly disappointed, as with any and all politicians."
"Here is part 2. I need to add a bonus video. And I will do it either today or at the latest, tomorrow. I just have a plane to catch right now. I was in California for the last 40ish hours photographing another incredible woman for yous. Hope ya' guys are doing well. Thanks for your patience. Sonya slaps, right?"
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It is remarkable that Austin is the home of two of the wildest, blonde, busty adult starlets from recent memory. Though when it comes to uninhibited energy, Angel Youngs takes the blue ribbon. We went shopping. then took some pics in the parking lot. My mind was filled with thoughts like--Is this really happening? Life rips! She is the real deal. Happy Birthday, Angel.
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Kylie Quinn makes the Pacific Palisades palatable. The surrounding nature is beautiful, you just have to share it with a boatload of other assholes. You just have to suffer through the danger of driving on Sunset or PCH everyday. You just have to smile as the dysfunctional California state government eats up your tax dollars. Other than that, Paradise. Kylie Quinn will help you see the silver lining. She is not the innocent type, but let's be honest, that isn't what you really want. You just wanted to be the first to plant your flag. Meh, that shit is overrated.
We visit the restaurant at Luxe, a fancy hotel on Sunset Boulevard, with Asia Amour. This woman is not shy. She puts down the calamari appetizer, the fish dinner, the premium tea, etc. Of course, we must opt out of adult beverages until she turns 21. Don't worry, no fun was missed. Anyways, I take care of the bill, but do I complain? You would have to be a moron. Women like Asia are worth going all out. Sometimes, you simply cannot play it safe. More from this evening awaits you.
Morgan Attwood took me to the main street of her quaint town outside of San Jose. We covered the major attractions within minutes, but settled on tickling Morgan's sweet tooth with some raspberry gelato. Morgan is bright, energetic and confident with her sexuality. She vaguely reminds me of Phoebe, the character from 'Friends'. However, Morgan is much more tolerable than asinine one-liners and an abhorrent laugh track. Despite Morgan's less-than-stellar review of the Nissan Leaf, I was surprised at what we were able to accomplish in her backseat.
If I disappear, it might be because of the photos I took of Sylvia Belotti. Either her or her family has hired an Italian lawyer to come at me with serious legal threats. I have two things to say. One, I know Sylvia is cool as hell, or at least she was when I met her, so it must be someone else giving her shit for agreeing to this sort of modeling. Fuck them. If anyone devalues Sylvia for being a wild person with wild appetites, then it is their loss. They lose out on Sylvia. Two, I am not easily frightened. In fact, I am quite dumb. I live in Texas and go to massive public gatherings on summer holidays. That takes guts in 2022. Part two evench.
Hey, guys. Back on this beautiful Friday with a follow-up to Venus' most recent update. This woman is magnificent. She might have a few extra pounds, but this is Texas and we don't worry ourselves about a few extra pounds. Are you happy, pleasant to be around, and can you mind your own goddamn business? Those things are more important to us. But seriously, Venus is a sweetheart and loyal to her man. Even if I WASN'T smitten with her curvy figure, I'd still consider her a catch.
"Unfortunately, I don't have any video footage to share of Scarlett Alexis at this time. I'll make it a point in the future with her. Scarlett is great. She struck me as a snooty fashionista at first, in her all-black attire and tinted glasses. But eventually, her friendly attitude and bright smiles won me over completely. Stay tuned for more."
"This girl from Mississippi just wants to have fun. Renee Wilson is a blast to photograph. When we met, it was late and there wasn't much around since we were far outside the city. How about this high school? There shouldn't be anyone around. Shooting in the dark is a challenge, but it helps when you have someone with Renee's energy. We made it work. This week proved to America that there aren't any blue states, only blue cities. Have a great weekend, don't break too many rules."
"Congratulations on waiting that whole day for part two of Yvain. She really does have a natural, subtle way of captivating my attention. It seems that most of you agree. I'm working hard on getting more of her. Max tells me that Yvain, in actuality, is very shy and that she loves to draw and spend time alone in nature. I kinda buy it. She probably appreciates that squirrels aren't going to ask her if she has an Onlyfans."
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Back in the day, it was common for fathers to joke about sleeping with the babysitter. I certainly would not recommend that sort of thing. It would probably wreck your life in many ways. That being said, Hazel Moore would be too much temptation in the role of nanny. Do not hire her. But this is what Zishy is for. It should be ok to have outrageous fantasies, and if it isn't, then I'm totally fucked. Video coming tomorrow.
There's probably a few of you out there reading this who are real sickoes. Maybe one of you even has a half-starved person, most likely a girl, locked up in your basement. You probably are thinking of your next 'experiment' for her this weekend. How much antifreeze can a human consume before total system shutdown? Well, I'm not gonna judge you, but I think you should give it up. I know dark shit is fun at first, but all it will eventually bring you is pure stress. And stress is the leading cause of major illness. We must avoid it like rabies. Treat yourself better. You deserve it. -Dr. Drew
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Notes and video coming by tomorrow.
"Julia Campos was having some sort of episode when she took us out for a milkshake. It wasn't until we got back to the car that we discovered what it was all about. With certain women, you can immediately sense that they are trouble, but also a lot of fun. I get that feeling with Julia. She seems worth the trouble. A bonus video is coming to this update over the weekend. Dueces."
"More fun times with the bubbly Bubble Butt Venus. She gets a thrill from this type of work, it is plain to see. We held our adventure in the square of a small Texas town. Venus took extra pleasure knowing that we were catching glances from conservative college students. Stay rebel."
"These are from way back on the very first day I ever met Soledad Lomas. I knew right away that she was special and would be a hit on the site. It was a cold day out, as you can tell from her skin, but she kindly cooked me a delicious steak on the grill. What a mensch. Soledad proceeded to demonstrate her ambitions to become a famous lingerie model. Not sure if that ever worked out, but we love her just the same on Zishy. Part 2 without that distracting lingerie coming soon."
Viky, our contributor from Colombia, is back. This time she took her friend, Karoll Bolivar, to the beach for some of that South American December sunshine. Today it is over 30C at this beach, which is over 80F for my American friends. Or maybe I am spreading misinformation. And what is misinformation? I thought it was all just information. I thought it was every individual's preference to accept information, from a variety of sources, and to parse the truth out on their own. Shouldn't the truth be able to stand up to all verifiably false claims? You don't owe anyone an apology, Joe.
I photographed Hopeless SoFrantic in Los Angeles. She is a nice person and really easy to get along with. She loves animals and is a vegan. As sweet as she is though, she is a living organism and will have to eat other living organisms in order to survive on this planet. That's just how the rules are written. Hopeless says she inherited her large natural breasts and light frame from her mother, who also did some modeling in her youth. Our future looks Hopeless.
My life was a mess. I had just dropped my phone and cracked its screen. People at church were spreading gossip about the collection basket being lighter every time it passed my pew. Grandma had forgotten my name but kept asking if Ed McMahon had returned her call. Fuck. I just couldn't win. Then it happened. The lady at my neighborhood taco truck gave a gummy smile and a wink, with her good eye, as she handed me the sticky bottle of salsa fuego. The universe seemed right again. A faint mustache never hurt nobody. Let's be honest, playing with those soft, giant chi chi's would be so worth it. Nala Brooks has a strong back.
Today, I bring you your second dose of Vonnie Bean. This one is a little more potent than the first, so you will want to monitor yourself for a half hour after consumption. Vonnie is truly adorable and you will see more of her here at Zishy if you stick around. But if you don't, I totally understand. I know many of you need to start saving up for the next big Jake PaulJustin Bieber extravaganza. Or maybe you are eying a brand new tent for that prime spot in the park. I get it.
Words, words, words, words. I'm sure you really want to hear what I have to say. I make elegant sentences. I pose interesting questions. I often use proper punctuation. Or maybe you are just here for the pretty girls. Hmm, I wonder. Ira Sedina is another exquisite young woman that I met in Russia. Here we are in Moscow eating eggs and taking risky photos outside of ornate religious architecture. You should stick around Zishy and see more of Ira. It beats constantly refreshing your screen to watch a crypto portfolio plummet. Thanks, Elon.
Sometimes people will ask what I do for a living and sometimes I will tell them that I just have fun. I have a feeling that most don't believe me. In actuality, I save lives. Namely, mine. If I didn't have this, I'd be stuck in some dead end job, eating like shit, hating everyone, counting down the days until the Big Sleep. Possibly, even thinking of potential 'shortcuts'. For this reason, I remain grateful to you, to the models, and to life in general. Moon and Suzie are of a rare breed.
The bad news Victoria Minina's run as a model on Zishy has come to an end. The good news this is a two part-set with Victoria in her prime, at home, in beautiful natural lighting. Everything lined up perfectly for me on this day. I hope that you, Vika, and I all have more days like this to look forward to. Oh and the great news Joss doesn't get a bunch of free advertising in part 2.
"Welcome to another week of joy and wonder. We have made it well past the halfway point of 2024. Congrats! Here is Victoria Ramos spreading her positive energy from Buenos Aires. Her unique look is an example of nonstandard beauty. I am so grateful to all the diverse women who have taken the chance of putting themselves on the internet. Hawk-Tuhh Girl, hold your head up high. Screw the haters. No hawk-tuhh for thems."
This was a wonderful day that came as a surprise. I was in Portland for my uncle's funeral, so the circumstances weren't great. Patsy Ford invited me to her place and lifted my spirits with her charms. Part 2 with bonus video coming tomorrow. Have a great weekend.
Susanna Torres is brought to us by our contributor in Venezuela. Bobby only had to send one photo of this beauty to sell me on Susanna's potential. Her long dark hair, sleek figure, and desirable face made me an instant believer. Thank goodness I still held onto some Bitcoin from my Silk Road days. It is the only way to send money to Venezuela for such a special opportunity. There is more of Susanna in our future.
"Part two as promised. The 5-minute bonus video shows how this Russian sausage, featuring Cami, was made. I personally feel it is a beautiful and tasty sausage. Even if there is pushback to this type of content, I will be including this softer, subtler aesthetic from time-to-time. Variety is the spice of life. Have a great weekend."
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The world around me might be in ruins, but there are some things that will never cease in bringing me joy. One of those things is taking a spectacular woman like Oxana Chic out for an adventurous stroll in an eyepopping outfit. She is a pure delight in so many ways. Another joy of mine is watching actors pretend that they are flying jets and reading lines that someone else wrote for them. I do need a strong edible though for the latter. Have a nice weekend. A bonus video will be posted to this update soon.
"I like Luci Pineda. She reminds me of this really sweet girl I used to know. I should have given her a chance, but I was too distracted by street ballin' and the rap game. Now that I have made more paper than I can spend and courted an endless list of thirsty bitches, I think I'm ready for someone like Luci. Someone who is going to slow life down for me. I have learned that the word 'love' is an empty container, only filled by kindness towards others and most importantly, towards ourselves. -Horst Simco"
"Of course there was more of Miquela's visit to nature, which was featured late last year. It is time to get back outdoors and give the mosquitoes their due. I will bring you a video of this adventure tomorrow. Maybe an xtra. You guys have a good one."
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Dita Vetone is sensitive to chills, so there was no way I was going to convince her to jump into the water. I sincerely apologize. I know how bad you wanted to see her aqua-dynamism. But today, you will have to be satiated by these mostly non-nude images of Dita soaking up sun rays and attention at her apartment's pool. Whatever the management company is charging for rental of a poolside unit, they need to double it. Dita is a walking highlight reel. Ciao.
It took patience, but I was finally able to meet and photograph Riley Nixon. She is kind, intelligent, and seemingly holds back nothing from the camera. She traveled to Austin earlier this year before the weather turned dangerously unbearable. Riley and I still broke sweats walking through downtown. An outing this extensive could prove deadly in the midst of July. We visited the Comedy Mothership, Joe Rogan's club, where they were handing out vials of horse dewormer. I am so glad that Joe has been de-platformed and that we are now safe due to the saintly work of Fauci and big pharma. Hail Pfizer! Two last things, the misspelling is intentional and a bonus video was added to the previous update with Jeni.
I had such a great time shooting these with Emberlynn. I truly must have done something fantastic in a previous life. I hope you guys get to achieve this level of satisfaction in your own journeys. She entertained all my ideas. No makeup. No fakelashes. Sneaky public nudity. No problem. Women are beautiful. Some of them, I've met some shitty ones too.
Hey, guys. Your favorite villain is back. That is referring to me, not Zoe Aguilar. She is a real sweetie. She never says anything controversial. She always gives reverence to anything anyone might possibly consider sacred. She does not enjoy nor advocate dark humor dark as in tragic. Zoe is considerate and agreeable just like every woman should be. She only knows how to toe the line. As for me, now that is a different story. I have been pissing people off for as long as I can remember. There is a demon inside me. My tongue always seems to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Trust me, I don't think it is cute, but I also can't ditch it at this point. It has become an essential part of my brand. Help! - Donald J.
"She is rare like a solar eclipse. We will call her Vaemis Kory and this is her intro. More to come for sure. Try to keep it together, boys."
I met this contributor, Darien, online. I think he must have first hit me up with an email over a year ago. He promised he could bring me some great talent from Venezuela. Lo and behold, he was right. I immediately loved Katie Arias' adorable energy and long dark hair. The biggest obstacle in working with Darien was paying him. Venezuela's economic and political turmoil is awful, to put it mildy. PayPal and Western Union were not even available options. So Darien introduced me to two valuable gems, Katie and the world of cryptocurrency. Have a nice weekend.
Sometimes I tell the contributing photographer to just have fun. It appears that is what happened here with Alina and Hanna Nasochi. It looks convincing. They venture out on a snowy night to bring us shots in public, then take us back to Hanna's home where she lets us in on some important news. She's expecting and will photograph again with Alina as her body changes. Perhaps these women are only pretending to have fun for us. Meh, good enough for me. Hbu?
"I asked ChatGPT to tell me a joke about crazy women. Here's what it said: I think it’s best to keep jokes respectful and inclusive. Then I asked it to tell me one about crazy men and without hesitation it gave me some lame anecdote unfit for my standards. The point is that AI has both a bias and a poor sense of humor. Maybe that is our future--a humorless one. We will walk on eggshells around everyone so as not to offend or hurt feelings. Damn, I miss the 90s. Enjoy today's crazy lady."
"Part two as promised. Weed has caused me a lot of grief. Like that time I absentmindedly left the door open at my friend's apartment, allowing her dog to run outside into the middle of a busy street at night. She said it wasn't my fault. She said it was bound to happen eventually. But we both knew. I fucked up, bad. Even at such a low point I understood just as I understand now, that if I was gonna continue to do drugs, which I most certainly did, I needed to learn how to keep my shit together. So yeah, the lesson is to keep your shit together. Life has consequences. Happy 4/20. --Buzz Lightyear"
"Here is part two of my adventure with Meadow Brink in Wisconsin. The truth is that Meadow was more affected by the cold than myself. Not sure how that is possible since she is native, but I guess it happens. While I was there, I noticed that snow, ice, and cold had lost their luster to the community. There's a point where it stops being fun and simply becomes a dreaded burden. Although I have spent more time with Meadow than most other models, this special woman has yet to lose her shine."
"Our contributor in Colombia has this friend that is super photogenic but was dating this really jealous dickhead who would never share his gf with the internet. Vicky, the contributor, was able to capture these a while back, but had agreed not to use them until Maya's toxic relationship was over. Looks like we are in the clear now. Juan, find someone else to terrorize ... or grow up. My vote is for the latter. Part 2 very soon."
You guys want the inside baseball? Photographing Emily Right in public, without makeup was not a great decision on my part. In my defense, I had no idea it was going to be such an issue. I always ask the women to check out the site and I go over what to expect. Nonetheless, she wasn't feeling it so we had to bail after only a few minutes. Trying to get a smile from her was like trying to get my 5-year-old to watch The Shining with me. Very tricky. Once we were out of anyone's view though, back at the car, Emily opened up and felt more at ease. I still find her very attractive and appreciate her efforts. Later, I will bring you more of her from the safety of indoors. Live and learn, except I'm not sure what I learned.
"Here is a set of street portraits with Luba Cherisova in Russia. She was very open to showing me the popular sights in her town while mixing in risky public flashing. Luba possesses an enigmatic personality, playful but serious at the same time, and with plenty of I-dont-give-a-fuck. Like clockwork, just when I think I am solely into women on the curvier side, a thin vixen such as Luba pulls me back in. Stay loose."
"Introducing Jacie Verbena. I like her. She seems like she has a good time being photographed. Kudos to our contributor in Ukraine. Does your government ask your permission before sending its citizens to kill or die? Doubt it. War is dumb. Part 2 tomorrow."
Sorry to state the obvious, but most porn sucks. It is filtered or scripted or impersonal or obviously fake. In fact, that isn't just porn, it is the same with entertainment in general. When I want to be inspired or distract myself from myself, I only do one of two things. A, turn on a video of the 1973 Belmont Stakes. Or B, do whatever it takes to find a confident, attractive, adventurous woman to photograph. That is why you are here, right? You want to see who is next. You want to see if fortune will favor me in this endeavor. It certainly did with Rowan Emerson. My work is not easy, but I leave easy for the jerks who walk around all day with their feet jammed inside shoes.
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