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"I asked ChatGPT to tell me a joke about crazy women. Here's what it said: I think it’s best to keep jokes respectful and inclusive. Then I asked it to tell me one about crazy men and without hesitation it gave me some lame anecdote unfit for my standards. The point is that AI has both a bias and a poor sense of humor. Maybe that is our future--a humorless one. We will walk on eggshells around everyone so as not to offend or hurt feelings. Damn, I miss the 90s. Enjoy today's crazy lady."
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"It has been winter in Argentina for the last few months, but that doesn't mean our contributors there have been in hibernation. Here is another delightful adventure with familiar face, Zoe Aguilar and her new friend, Emma Velazquez. Zoe has had so much fun shooting for us that she talked Emma into joining the team. Which flavor would you pick? Part two on the way."
"The magic of Zishy is that you can see how it looks to take out an adorable young lady in Argentina without ever leaving your studio apartment or parents' basement. At some point though, I want you to get your shit together and make it happen though for reals. Do it for all of us who are now spoken for, like me. Those of us for whom it has become essential to clear our browser history. Pathetic. Have a great weekend."
Keisha Grey is back. She bestowed me the opportunity of photographing her again many years after our first encounter in 2014. I flew down to Florida this past December and met her at the home where she grew up in. Keisha detailed to me the wild roller coaster her life was at the epoch of her stardom. She claims that she is retired from adult entertainment, but I think her decision is constantly in flux. She is still beautiful, still kinky, still loves attention, just more stable. I guess we'll see.
I like when people aren't ashamed to show imperfection. I like that Katie Darling let me record her perform a partially learned song on her keyboard. It was subtle but it told me a lot about her. She must truly appreciate the learning process. She must understand that it isn't only the finish line that is important, it's also fact that you're running. That you're pushing to become a better you. Are you?
I have been there before. You think your life is over because she does not return your affection. Trust me, that small detail needs to be a deal-breaker. You will start to feel better once you relent your pursuit. Just because you don't have a good job or good hygiene or good looks doesn't mean you have nothing to offer the opposite sex. You have charisma and that is super important. Remember that time you made your grandmother laugh with those wacky jokes about indigenous peoples. See! There's still hope, my boy.
"Unfortunately, I don't have any video footage to share of Scarlett Alexis at this time. I'll make it a point in the future with her. Scarlett is great. She struck me as a snooty fashionista at first, in her all-black attire and tinted glasses. But eventually, her friendly attitude and bright smiles won me over completely. Stay tuned for more."
Introducing Kylie Shay. She decided to jump headfirst into the adult industry last year and immediately became sought after by many producers. She is ultra-petite, but her massive natural appeal compelled me to jump on the Kylie bandwagon. I flew out to her hometown of Memphis and was welcomed by Kylie and her companion's hospitality. Take a shot, MLK did.
There isn't a whole lot to say here. The results speak for themselves. These Italian women just hit different. Sadly, this is the Zishy finale of Claudia Veneza, but I am confident there will be others from her beloved country. Once you get a taste of Italian scenery, food, art, women ... it changes something inside you. You might even start telling your closest friends and family to go-a fuck-a yo'self! It's wild. Too bad Italia is also renown for the Catholic Church, which is known for the systematic sexual abuse of children. Oh, biscuits
"I had an appointment with my kid's teacher today. She is a sweet person. Very intelligent. She reads poetry, spends a lot of time in nature, LOVES classical music—mostly Mozart, but I can look past that, and even enjoys the occasional glass of wine on the weekends. Anyhoo, my child's education is very important to me, so I insisted that Ms. Thompson meet me after school hours to discuss further. She agreed. Wish me luck."
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You guys must be thinking the same thing. How shitty Diet Coke tastes. You are right. I concur. But still, Sabrina Lynn is like Spring; always lovely, always welcomed, a gift from the heavens. Jesus, Odin, Ganesh, they all must have teamed up on this one. Accept no substitutes, go for the real thing.
"Here is the conclusion of our day with Irina Dyvyn and Bianca Bell. If you enjoy women being comfortable and playful and unpressured, you will probably dig this update. Alina, our contributor, has a talent for making her subjects feel relaxed and willing to be completely candid. Her work brings us along for the ride. After 8 minutes of the 13-minute video, you will only be able to understand the dialog if you speak Russian. Mostly, Bianca talks about her office job, the Russian/Ukranian language issue, and how tech guys are odd. Have a great weekend."
Sometimes you meet people that are not people, but are vibrations of cosmic energy. I could say that I was surprised by Jia Lissa, but that would be a lie. Even by her Instagram, I could sense the energy that emanates from this woman. Jia was not stepping into my world, I was a tourist in hers. She is Russian, but you would be hard-pressed to find anyone of any nationality that is as beautiful, passionate, and complex as Jia.
Victoria Minina, or I have come to know her simply as Vika, is an incredible woman. And I am not even factoring in her otherworldly bum. This summer she became a contributing photographer for Zishy, which you will soon see some of the results. For now, look closely at Vika's modeling. You might find a fun-loving, creative, and intelligent sweetheart who just happens to be beautiful at any angle. 2020 has not been all bad luck.
This one is for the kids. The kids who have been fucked over by their parents' incompetence and greed. Gabbie Carter is one of those. She relayed stories to me that would be a bit much even for a Bret Easton Ellis novel. The new generation is opening its eyes to our antiquated bullshit. Do you really think they are going to keep with the status quo as society melts? Do you really think dreams of motor boats and fine wine will be enough to ignore the stench of death? Anyways, thanks to the Carters for letting me photograph at their lakeside estate. Pretty dope.
Welcome Katya Nesterova to the Zishy family. She has a huge following on social media, but I doubt she has taken many photos like these: without makeup, wearing a hoodie and a fanny pack. Katya goes by a different name online. Don't waste your time asking for it. Anyways, you may already be one of her over half million followers. Now go enjoy the weekend. This is the only time of year when you are allowed to frighten the children in your neighborhood. My front yard is decorated with "Don't Vote" signage.
"Here is what I have left of the lovely Lissa. I will see if we can get more of her, but I wouldn't hold my breath. I will also add a bonus video later today if there is enough decent footage (if there is any, it ain't much). Lissa knows how to make our popsicles drip. AI wrote that. Wasn't me."
Hey guys. Christmas is the time of year when you put aside your petty differences and share unforgettable moments with the ones you love--the fully vaccinated and compliant. And just because Grandma refuses to get her booster, doesn't mean she has to miss out on all the fun. The patio deck provides a comfy spot for her to enjoy a warm plate of holiday roast. Daisy Wensday literally froze her buns for us in these pics. Show some love in the comments and remember to leave masks and hand sanitizer out for Santa.
Men compare everything. Maybe I shouldn't generalize. I am a man, and I compare things. I compare this car to that one. My body to yours. I compare women visually and sometimes even their personalities. Go figure. Well, Serena Avary has a kickass personality. She literally could power all of your mining rigs with her enthusiasm. Or maybe it was drugs. I'm not sure. This was in Florida. So who knows? We went to Lowes and met strangers and had a good old time. I hope you have yourself a good old time while you still can. Peace.
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Even though science, my wife's advice, and personal experience has taught me to avoid refined sugar and food coloring, I doubt that I have consumed my last Eegee's frozen fruit drink. They are a source of nostalgia. When I moved to Tucson for college, it was the first thing that alleviated me from the desert heat. The U of A handed out large complimentary samples at their new student orientation and I immediately became a fan. Same thing for Brandy Gila, her chill vibes are addictive.
Sebastian in Colombia put together this shoot with Kate Maze. For a few weeks, he had been pitching me other South American girls, but once he showed me Kate, I recognized her star potential. The other girls he showed me were down for whatever, but also looked like it. What stood out with Kate was her wholesome good looks compounded by a deviant personality. Keep your eye on the prize.
Lana Lovelace greeted me at her door in her full-bodied, dinosaur pajamas. She asked me what she should put on for the shoot. Like Cobain said, Come as you are. Lana is a strange mix of deviancy, anxiety, and curiosity. She says that half her fans love her bush and the other half hate it. Well, even Jesus couldn't get everyone to like him. Hope your holidays are as stress-free as possible.
Maybe you people will find certain things that I do with my site, my photography, even my life as being strange. You might be right. It is hard for me to be objective. I just do me. You should also remember, that I have no clue what oddball desires run through your mind. Or maybe there is nothing strange about you at all. Maybe you truly only want vanilla sex and love talking about the things you own or want to own. All I know is that if I am hanging with a person like Keira Croft, who is also a fan of madness, things are likely to get messy. 2020 is not as awful as people are making it out to be. This year has just made it harder to live in denial.
"Hello, Monday! Here is the first part of our finale with Tasia Loomer. I can always count on Alina, our contributor, to bring images with raw energy and personality. She forgot to bring bubble bath to Tasia's apartment, but luckily nature has supplied Tasia with plenty of her own. Part 2 tomorrow with video."
Sofia Orlova is the type of woman that could drive this type of man crazy. Luckily, I lost it long ago. My mind has grown used to navigating these waters in a perpetual state of chaos. Sofia doesn't have to try to inspire men like me. She only has to exist. But this incredible woman did do something. She mustered the courage to have her beauty documented in this way. Bol'shoye spasibo.
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I photographed Emelia Pearl around the holidays. Her father's tropical fish tank cast an interesting hue of light on her body. She sat naked in his favorite leather recliner. We filmed in her parents' bedroom. We had the run of the house while everyone else was at work. Freedom means no rules, that is why none of us is ever really free.
Hello Fellow Sentients. I'm back from a chaotic trip photographing more beautiful women who were incredible but definitely not flawless. This art form that I have chosen has led me to search for the balance between humanity and perfection. I am discerning when it comes to the models that I pursue, but I also want to find beauty in everyone. Historically, I have a certain type, that is undeniable. But I am also trying to broaden the horizons of my palette. Life requires it. My personal taste has had to adjust with age and with my lovers' age. Flexibility is a virtue. Rose Fessenden is perfectly flawed, like me.
I bet you think I am gonna knock on Greek life struggling for acceptance, conformity, paying for friends, etc. But no, I think it is a genius marketing scheme. Surely, Giana Van Patten is one of her chapter's finest. Alpha Gamma Delta chose well.
I am not a person that advocates any drug for anyone. I only want people to be able to consume the drugs that they enjoy without the fear of being thrown into a cage. If you think caffeine, sugar, or alcohol are not drugs, then the propaganda works. If you think it would be absurd for your neighbor to remove you from your home, take away your livelihood, and put you behind bars for consuming or even possessing a flower, then why would you permit your government to do this? Are we free men or are we slaves? Presley Callen loves her some country music, cannabis, and the freedom to choose what she puts into her body.
"This day started a bit rough. Keely gave me all this grief because she felt ugly without full makeup in public. I caved and agreed we'd shoot by the lake where there would likely not be any crowds. Then a strange thing happened while we were taking pictures, someone in the distance asked ""Excuse me, is there a bridge or something to get to the other side?"" Hmmm, that voice sounds familiar. ""Are you Duncan Trussell?"" ""Yeah man, that's meeee!"" ""Holy shit, no way."" That really made my day. Keely's cool too. Peace."
Back by popular demand is Vynessa Lucero. Why would she be so highly requested? Obviously, beauty like Vynessa's is rare. So here is some advice. If a woman with rare qualities agrees to pose for you, but has some hesitation about nudity, just shoot her. Don't be a dope. Sure, there will always be some trash leaving crybaby comments on your site. But you have to block that stuff out. Most people have no idea what they really want. Most people think life is boring.
"I am about to perform hypnosis on you. This update, and the one that follows, will force you to appreciate photos without direct nudity just as much, if not more, than those that do feature it. My assistant will be Ariel Gossimer. She makes one hell of an amateur model. Imagine if this site did not exist. Imagine if we never got to see women like Ariel who for whatever reason didn't ""cut it"" for fashion, TV, lingerie catalogs, etc and would never agree to bare all for OF or webcam. That world would totally suck. Thanks for making Zishy possible."
Stop being a bitch and taking your girl to some lame fast food trough and shoving garbage into your swollen bellies. At the very least, go to Islands. They have semi-delicious food paired with background videos of people doing extreme sports that you only have the courage to admire. And if you're a mega-popular podcaster or internet personality, stop reading your own fucking ads. The world does not need another slave for a role model. Bye! -Drunk Joe Biden.
Before you all lynch mob me for not having nudity on this one, let me just say that I have my reasons. For one, I believe in One China and that the people's republic will soon have its unity. Secondly, don't forget that someone out there risked their hide taking these photos of a pretty girl who calls herself Banana. Do you know what they'd do to you if the government caught you making 'porn' in their country? They'd probably have John Senna or Lebron James take big ol' dumps on your face. No, thanks. Support China, buy Apple. Bonus video tomorrow.
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"Today, as we gather here, I want to celebrate the true backbone of Argentina - its women. They are the embodiment of resilience, strength, and perseverance. In every corner of our nation, from the bustling streets of Buenos Aires to the serene landscapes of Patagonia, Argentine women have been at the forefront of progress, nurturing families, driving businesses, and shaping our society. As a sign of our gratitude to the International Monetary Fund, we plan to annually donate twenty of our country's finest young women to the IMF network of 'pleasure' dungeons. This will be in addition to the payments being made toward the generous loans bestowed upon our republic. Viva la libertad carajo! -Javier Milei, President of Argentina"
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Here's a double feature of Heidi Romanova and Kayla Coyote. The two are captivating beauties from different parts of the world. Heidi shot in Kiev and Kayla in Santa Barbara. Beauty like theirs is worthy of crossing the pond, even if it means watching more Marvel films in cramped quarters. Happy Monday.
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