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"You are not supposed to be able to get Coca Cola products in Russia. Well, good luck with that. I'm probably not even supposed to bring you these photos of forbidden Russian women. And that Telegram guy, the one who was arrested in France, you know what his real crime was? His app gives people the ability to communicate with each other without letting the government listen in on the conversation. Seriously, when is enough going to be enough? ""Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist."" — Pablo Picasso"
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"I asked ChatGPT to tell me a joke about crazy women. Here's what it said: I think it’s best to keep jokes respectful and inclusive. Then I asked it to tell me one about crazy men and without hesitation it gave me some lame anecdote unfit for my standards. The point is that AI has both a bias and a poor sense of humor. Maybe that is our future--a humorless one. We will walk on eggshells around everyone so as not to offend or hurt feelings. Damn, I miss the 90s. Enjoy today's crazy lady."
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"It has been winter in Argentina for the last few months, but that doesn't mean our contributors there have been in hibernation. Here is another delightful adventure with familiar face, Zoe Aguilar and her new friend, Emma Velazquez. Zoe has had so much fun shooting for us that she talked Emma into joining the team. Which flavor would you pick? Part two on the way."
Part two of Adriene Macedo showing off more edgy black lingerie in her quaint Houston apartment. Quite exciting, really. Adriene suggests that if you ever want your girl to have a full bush again, don't let undergo a laser treatment. More to come of this eccentric Brazilian in Texas.
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That heart of yours ain't gonna last forever. You might as well dip that fried piece of potato into the mayonnaise and savor this experience. To all of you who think that my occupation is a dream come true you are right. Partially, anyways. As with any job, there are always new challenges. Who knows how long I can do this type of shit before the every inch of the planet is being surveilled by AI. And how about risks? Nalani Dacus could have held me at gunpoint for my camera equipment. Christ, I underestimated that edible. Anyways, thanks for the memories, everyone.
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Morgan Attwood is from a small town near San Jose. She is already in college now, but it was only a year or two ago that she played on a softball team in high school. Softball is basically baseball for girls and people with a greater appreciation for safety. Morgan still had some gear, so we said what the hell and visited a local park in the middle of a Summer day. Uncoincidentally, Sporty Spice was always my favorite.
Part two has arrived. Nicole Ross says she is shy. She has almost 400K followers on her Instagram where she mostly posts semi-nude photos of herself. She initially asked me to use a different name for her, but later decided to go with her regular moniker. Did I ever tell you how I often feel like the polar opposite of civilization?
Alevtina Batman. Remember her? She battled covid shortly after submitting a Zishtok dance video earlier this year. Thank heavens she survived. You can ask a person to act crazy in front of a camera, but it is always better when you do not have to.
Daphne Dare and Cindy White probably don't even talk anymore. That's ok. No one is in LA to make friends anyways. To be continued.
"The magic of Zishy is that you can see how it looks to take out an adorable young lady in Argentina without ever leaving your studio apartment or parents' basement. At some point though, I want you to get your shit together and make it happen though for reals. Do it for all of us who are now spoken for, like me. Those of us for whom it has become essential to clear our browser history. Pathetic. Have a great weekend."
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"Unfortunately, I don't have any video footage to share of Scarlett Alexis at this time. I'll make it a point in the future with her. Scarlett is great. She struck me as a snooty fashionista at first, in her all-black attire and tinted glasses. But eventually, her friendly attitude and bright smiles won me over completely. Stay tuned for more."
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"I had an appointment with my kid's teacher today. She is a sweet person. Very intelligent. She reads poetry, spends a lot of time in nature, LOVES classical music—mostly Mozart, but I can look past that, and even enjoys the occasional glass of wine on the weekends. Anyhoo, my child's education is very important to me, so I insisted that Ms. Thompson meet me after school hours to discuss further. She agreed. Wish me luck."
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There are some of you out there who still complain every time they do not receive enough nudity from an update. As if it was your God-given right. Get a fucking life, you nerds. Do you really think that I shed tears because you missed out on a high definition closeup of some girl's nipples? Puh-leez. Save up that Subway sandwich money and invest in a gym membership or a decent button-up shirt or how about a haircut from someone other than your own mother? Maybe one day you will get to see a fabulous nude body in real life. Maybe one day you will stop whining and start winning. Thanks to all the real Zishy droogs. And yes, I will be rooting for Colby Covington this Saturday.
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"Here is the conclusion of our day with Irina Dyvyn and Bianca Bell. If you enjoy women being comfortable and playful and unpressured, you will probably dig this update. Alina, our contributor, has a talent for making her subjects feel relaxed and willing to be completely candid. Her work brings us along for the ride. After 8 minutes of the 13-minute video, you will only be able to understand the dialog if you speak Russian. Mostly, Bianca talks about her office job, the Russian/Ukranian language issue, and how tech guys are odd. Have a great weekend."
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Kim Solari is one of the most athletic women that I have ever photographed for Zishy. She plays basketball competitively. She loves the gym. She says one must always train until failure. Kim travels, speaks German, and Kim is ultra-passionate about animals, including snakes and spiders. Kim admits to looking at her muscular figure and thinking, you can't have grace with this much power. Wrong, Kim. I can still see it.
I would like to think that the years of struggle as an artist has made me worthy of photographing women like Ellen Kennedy. Firstly, I did not shoot her, not yet. Josue from Houston was the contributor on this one. A lot of people hit me up for advice on how to get started as a photographer. If you are relying on my advice, you are already pointed in the wrong direction. I only know how I did it. Just the same, here's my input pick up a camera, a paintbrush, a computer, or that musical instrument and start playing. Playing... this is all play. You can't fail at play. Don't fear failure. Fear success at shit that doesn't really make you happy. Stay woke.
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"Here is what I have left of the lovely Lissa. I will see if we can get more of her, but I wouldn't hold my breath. I will also add a bonus video later today if there is enough decent footage (if there is any, it ain't much). Lissa knows how to make our popsicles drip. AI wrote that. Wasn't me."
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"Hello, Monday! Here is the first part of our finale with Tasia Loomer. I can always count on Alina, our contributor, to bring images with raw energy and personality. She forgot to bring bubble bath to Tasia's apartment, but luckily nature has supplied Tasia with plenty of her own. Part 2 tomorrow with video."
Here we go. My first time shooting for Zishy in The City. Start spreading the news. New York City has a lot to live up to now in my eyes. I was able to bring together 3 amazing women on short notice. Skye Blue (the girl with the blue eyes), Nina Presley (the girl with the blue hair that resembles ScarJo), and Barbie Qu (the girl in the black dress). We had a perfect afternoon teasing all over Manhattan. You will see more from this Big Apple adventure soon. Evevntually, we made in to Central Park. Then, there were some taken in a friend's apartment. Peace and love.
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"This day started a bit rough. Keely gave me all this grief because she felt ugly without full makeup in public. I caved and agreed we'd shoot by the lake where there would likely not be any crowds. Then a strange thing happened while we were taking pictures, someone in the distance asked ""Excuse me, is there a bridge or something to get to the other side?"" Hmmm, that voice sounds familiar. ""Are you Duncan Trussell?"" ""Yeah man, that's meeee!"" ""Holy shit, no way."" That really made my day. Keely's cool too. Peace."
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"I am about to perform hypnosis on you. This update, and the one that follows, will force you to appreciate photos without direct nudity just as much, if not more, than those that do feature it. My assistant will be Ariel Gossimer. She makes one hell of an amateur model. Imagine if this site did not exist. Imagine if we never got to see women like Ariel who for whatever reason didn't ""cut it"" for fashion, TV, lingerie catalogs, etc and would never agree to bare all for OF or webcam. That world would totally suck. Thanks for making Zishy possible."
I love when someone makes a ridiculous commercial for a stationary bike and then everyone starts talking about it. Fucking genius. Someone needs a raise in the Peloton marketing department. I want to start making ads for Zishy that steps on the feelings of all the snowflakes and then goes viral for defiling the sanctity of our wholesome young women. Can you believe how tasteless this Zishy is? But don't be fooled. You are being worked. I know girls like Harley Woodburn will hook you. They hooked me. Look at what I've become. It's awesome.
Yeah, this winter was long and cold, but it won't protect you this summer. I have a feeling that we are in for a scorcher come July. So let me do a little housekeeping here and make room for the extra sunblock...the really toxic kind that kills our oceans' coral reefs. First, Vincenza Boscone and contributor Mitia make use of the amenities at a hotel in Milan, Italy. Parker Mixon AKA Skittles Fairy cools off on a warm spring day in San Antonio. Finally, let's revisit Bea Wolf in her cozy Manhattan Beach apartment. Stay crispy.
Bella Rose says she quit porn. I would be lying if I said I was surprised. Most of the women who do porn end up quitting within a few weeks. The pay is usually good at first, but then the well eventually goes dry. This is reality. Girls, don't get into porn unless you love staged sex, need quick money, and can handle the inevitable blow-back you will receive from uptight beeholes.
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Nalani Dacus has this smokey glamour charm about her. A beauty that draws plenty of attention. She has representation in LA with a modeling agency, but I was able to reach her directly on social media. All agents usually tell their models that they shouldn't work with a publication like mine. That it will ruin their career somehow. But I think it's just lies and excuses. When an agent isn't getting a shit ton of work for its models, it has to point the finger somewhere. Oh wait, you once took some edgy photos? Sorry, no we can't hire you to be the face of our brand. We only want real women, without sexuality, with spotless morality, who keep their bits covered at all times. Otherwise, you are worthless to us. No matter how beautiful you are. Hmmm, and I'm the bad guy.
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"Today, as we gather here, I want to celebrate the true backbone of Argentina - its women. They are the embodiment of resilience, strength, and perseverance. In every corner of our nation, from the bustling streets of Buenos Aires to the serene landscapes of Patagonia, Argentine women have been at the forefront of progress, nurturing families, driving businesses, and shaping our society. As a sign of our gratitude to the International Monetary Fund, we plan to annually donate twenty of our country's finest young women to the IMF network of 'pleasure' dungeons. This will be in addition to the payments being made toward the generous loans bestowed upon our republic. Viva la libertad carajo! -Javier Milei, President of Argentina"
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