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"You are not supposed to be able to get Coca Cola products in Russia. Well, good luck with that. I'm probably not even supposed to bring you these photos of forbidden Russian women. And that Telegram guy, the one who was arrested in France, you know what his real crime was? His app gives people the ability to communicate with each other without letting the government listen in on the conversation. Seriously, when is enough going to be enough? ""Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist."" — Pablo Picasso"
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"I asked ChatGPT to tell me a joke about crazy women. Here's what it said: I think it’s best to keep jokes respectful and inclusive. Then I asked it to tell me one about crazy men and without hesitation it gave me some lame anecdote unfit for my standards. The point is that AI has both a bias and a poor sense of humor. Maybe that is our future--a humorless one. We will walk on eggshells around everyone so as not to offend or hurt feelings. Damn, I miss the 90s. Enjoy today's crazy lady."
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Dear Colby Covington, I hope you are one of my readers. Zishy is Donald Trump's favorite site, aside from Twitter of course. I just wanted to thank you for entertaining me. You put your reputation on the line in so many ways. It is so refreshing to see someone accept hate as a form of love. So you came up short in the octagon last Saturday, big deal. You still gained a shitload of respect for your fighting spirit. Even being all busted up you managed to stay in character. It was truly admirable. If you ever need a tasteless sponsor, you know where to come. Hope you get a chance to work on your bedroom cardio while you heal up. Irelynn Dunham has great big freckles.
"It has been winter in Argentina for the last few months, but that doesn't mean our contributors there have been in hibernation. Here is another delightful adventure with familiar face, Zoe Aguilar and her new friend, Emma Velazquez. Zoe has had so much fun shooting for us that she talked Emma into joining the team. Which flavor would you pick? Part two on the way."
Kylie Quinn makes the Pacific Palisades palatable. The surrounding nature is beautiful, you just have to share it with a boatload of other assholes. You just have to suffer through the danger of driving on Sunset or PCH everyday. You just have to smile as the dysfunctional California state government eats up your tax dollars. Other than that, Paradise. Kylie Quinn will help you see the silver lining. She is not the innocent type, but let's be honest, that isn't what you really want. You just wanted to be the first to plant your flag. Meh, that shit is overrated.
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"The magic of Zishy is that you can see how it looks to take out an adorable young lady in Argentina without ever leaving your studio apartment or parents' basement. At some point though, I want you to get your shit together and make it happen though for reals. Do it for all of us who are now spoken for, like me. Those of us for whom it has become essential to clear our browser history. Pathetic. Have a great weekend."
Happy Easter. Here is part dos of the lovely Gabbie Carter and our time at the Santa Monica Pier. We did not really go. This all photoshopped. I actually shot the entire gallery at a professional studio with three assistants on-hand. I love to slackline, which is what Gabbie is doing towards the end of the gallery. It takes time to learn and you must fail countless times before any significant success.
"Unfortunately, I don't have any video footage to share of Scarlett Alexis at this time. I'll make it a point in the future with her. Scarlett is great. She struck me as a snooty fashionista at first, in her all-black attire and tinted glasses. But eventually, her friendly attitude and bright smiles won me over completely. Stay tuned for more."
Here is a bonus to the latest Naomi Woods update. Go ahead and crucify me for the low image count, this is just a bonus. Go ahead and complain that Naomi's candor regarding her drug use is a big turnoff, but hey, whose youth wasn't misguided and full of mistakes? We win or we learn. Even at my ripe age, I am still doing my share of learning. Happy 420, you filthy animals.
OMG, Becky. Today I met this really chill guy after my gender studies class. Apparently, he's like this super famous photographer who is gonna help me out with my acting career. I showed him around campus and he took some AMAZING photos of me. You should totally see how sexy they came out. Some of them were a bit on the slutty side, but he kept saying, It's a brave new world, baby or something hilarious. He can be a real kook, but he is fucking dreamy. Next week, we are planning to take some pics inside my dorm room. I hope that bitch, Kim, can put down her phone long enough to go to class!
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"I had an appointment with my kid's teacher today. She is a sweet person. Very intelligent. She reads poetry, spends a lot of time in nature, LOVES classical music—mostly Mozart, but I can look past that, and even enjoys the occasional glass of wine on the weekends. Anyhoo, my child's education is very important to me, so I insisted that Ms. Thompson meet me after school hours to discuss further. She agreed. Wish me luck."
I had to travel to San Diego to see this if this incredible, tall, hairy, freaky woman actually existed. Good news, she does! Dubsie could tell that the pandemic had taken its toll on my soul. She drove me to a nearby beach for some much needed relaxation. For a minute there, it felt like California was California again. But then someone asked for my preferred pronouns. Total buzzkill.
Irelynn Dunham brings it. That's why I hit her up each time I find myself in Arizona. Her and I did not have much time to play with the baby powder, but it certainly took enough time to clean up the mess after. I would have loved more photos of Irelynn in the dress, but while we were eating, she received an emergency call regarding her little sister. Turns out she was in a car accident. Sadly, Irelynn had to run. Gladly, her sister will be alright. I will do my best to get this impressive beauty back in front of the camera. Pinkie promise.
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"Here is the conclusion of our day with Irina Dyvyn and Bianca Bell. If you enjoy women being comfortable and playful and unpressured, you will probably dig this update. Alina, our contributor, has a talent for making her subjects feel relaxed and willing to be completely candid. Her work brings us along for the ride. After 8 minutes of the 13-minute video, you will only be able to understand the dialog if you speak Russian. Mostly, Bianca talks about her office job, the Russian/Ukranian language issue, and how tech guys are odd. Have a great weekend."
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I used to say my prayers and throw salt over my shoulder and all that good stuff. Then I started watching the news. If there is a God, she sure has one fucked up sense of humor. She will bestow blessings like Basil Navas, but then she will also surround your home with walls of fire. Guess you can't have everything, right?
Nora Sibiel said it had been a while since she flexed her flirting muscle. She was in a going-nowhere relationship for years. Her bf would get drunk every night and live from paycheck to paycheck. He was also jealous and constantly suspicious, looking through Nora's phone whenever she left it around. Nora finally called it quits after the fool crashed his car into a street sign. Stay on top of your game. Appreciate what is right in front of you. It could all be gone tomorrow.
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"Here is what I have left of the lovely Lissa. I will see if we can get more of her, but I wouldn't hold my breath. I will also add a bonus video later today if there is enough decent footage (if there is any, it ain't much). Lissa knows how to make our popsicles drip. AI wrote that. Wasn't me."
I am going to be honest with you people because that is all that Zishy can offer. I can not provide you with anything else of meaningful value. I can not put your kids back in school. I can not get the homeless camp off of your front lawn. I can not make someone love you for the person you wish you were. But honesty, yes, I can offer you this. Regan Budimir is a renowned pulmonary oncologist in Ukraine who was called in on an emergency while we were spending a lovely day at the park. This is why we abruptly postponed the shoot for a later date in her shower. More of that, including an epic 3-hour long video, will soon follow. See you later, crocodiles.
Well for sure Dita Vetone is one of the most gifted in the chest department for my site. I don't know why many men love large breasts, but it is just a fact of life. Fairness, yeah now there is a fantasy. Dita is mostly a shy and introverted person who probably has to deal with photographers, like me, constantly hounding her to be their muse. And what about all the men who are instantly drawn to her with sexual attention? It is no wonder why so many women build a defensive attitude towards men. Treat women with care and respect. Admiration does not need to be followed by possession. By the way, I added a dark mode that you can find in the menu bar.
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"Hello, Monday! Here is the first part of our finale with Tasia Loomer. I can always count on Alina, our contributor, to bring images with raw energy and personality. She forgot to bring bubble bath to Tasia's apartment, but luckily nature has supplied Tasia with plenty of her own. Part 2 tomorrow with video."
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Gigi Matthews modeled for a hipster fashion reseller that I met once at a thrift store. Seems like he finds secondhand deals, cleans the product, slaps on his label, then sells it with an absurd markup. It also helps to get a beautiful girl like Gigi to pose in these items and post semi-sexy pictures on his web site. Sex sells. Unfortunately, I have never been clever enough to use sex to sell shit. My simple brain would rather sell you the sexy pictures themselves.
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"This day started a bit rough. Keely gave me all this grief because she felt ugly without full makeup in public. I caved and agreed we'd shoot by the lake where there would likely not be any crowds. Then a strange thing happened while we were taking pictures, someone in the distance asked ""Excuse me, is there a bridge or something to get to the other side?"" Hmmm, that voice sounds familiar. ""Are you Duncan Trussell?"" ""Yeah man, that's meeee!"" ""Holy shit, no way."" That really made my day. Keely's cool too. Peace."
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"I am about to perform hypnosis on you. This update, and the one that follows, will force you to appreciate photos without direct nudity just as much, if not more, than those that do feature it. My assistant will be Ariel Gossimer. She makes one hell of an amateur model. Imagine if this site did not exist. Imagine if we never got to see women like Ariel who for whatever reason didn't ""cut it"" for fashion, TV, lingerie catalogs, etc and would never agree to bare all for OF or webcam. That world would totally suck. Thanks for making Zishy possible."
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"Today, as we gather here, I want to celebrate the true backbone of Argentina - its women. They are the embodiment of resilience, strength, and perseverance. In every corner of our nation, from the bustling streets of Buenos Aires to the serene landscapes of Patagonia, Argentine women have been at the forefront of progress, nurturing families, driving businesses, and shaping our society. As a sign of our gratitude to the International Monetary Fund, we plan to annually donate twenty of our country's finest young women to the IMF network of 'pleasure' dungeons. This will be in addition to the payments being made toward the generous loans bestowed upon our republic. Viva la libertad carajo! -Javier Milei, President of Argentina"
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