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Some asshole told me that this land used to be Mexico, and before that, something else. Come on, guy. I popped out of a vagina on this side of the river. Therefore, I have earned the right to keep you and your hungry children out. Stop ruining my zen vibes. For those that are humorless, please Bing 'sarcasm'. One of Carlin's great jokes, They call it the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. I thought it would be hard to convince Wendy Patton to undress completely and walk around in the baking desert. But Wendy likes to prove me wrong. We have a peculiar relationship.

I might be a cruel bastard, but at least I am honest. Here is part two of Liz Jordan in bed. She is the type of person who can take an innocent cup of water and turn it into something sexual. What a kook. What a talent. We need more like Liz. That xtra is still coming, should have it by tomorrow. Settle down, people.

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Chloe Cherry pushes the limits in her adult performances. Her dreamy eyes and youthful looks struck me as a perfect fit for Zishy. We went over to the Galleria in Sherman Oaks and put on a show. It was only until the shots in front of the fountain that a security guard approached us and asked if we had a permit for photography. No, sir. We are blatantly stealing photos of this fine property. But do not fear, we will feel awful about it at some point. And that really is the worst punishment of all.

Starting the new year off with a highly requested young lady, Olya. She might not show everything, but maybe I have grown tired of seeing everything. How many nipples and buttholes and drippy hoo-ha's do I need to view to satiate my desire? One of my favorite artists titled a recent book of his, Barely Human. I guess I am not alone in feeling that way sometimes. Perhaps tentacles probing orifices should not be so commonplace in our timelines. Olya Derkach qualifies as a very exciting human to look at, despite never fully exposing herself. And even better, we remain wanting more.

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Some people look at my work and think that I am exploiting young women. Maybe there is some salesmanship involved, but I would also be guilty of that if I was a priest or scholar. We all have to sell ourselves as having value in this world. My pitch is simple. Beautiful woman, Alejandra Cobos, you were given the gift of health and sexuality, and I, the artist, know how to paint a picture with them. A picture that will bring wonder and joy to hearts around the world. Your dignity can not be lost to a picture. It is much too strong for that. And what good are talents if we do not share them?

Jasmine Simco nonchalantly informed me that she trained with the Russian ballet during her teenage years. Oh yeah, that's totally common. I should have expected an extraordinary backstory to come with this extraordinary young woman. Jasmine might not be a heavy lifter when it comes to weights, but I have a feeling she will be lifting spirits around the globe with this gallery.

At this point, I believe I have posted more updates of Wendy Patton than any other girl. Know what else? This probably won't be the last. Wendy has a captivating personality that matches equally captivating looks. When she is in the right mood, being playful and mischievous comes naturally to her. On this day, Wendy was suffering from a bad case of social anxiety. But she forgot about all that once she stepped inside the unnatural and unreal environment of the Ontario Mills shopping mall. Materialism has its benefits.

I have taken the best photos of Jia Lissa on the internet. You do not need to confirm this. Just take my word for it. Why are they so great? Because other photographers will let Jia put on her emotionally-distant act for them. Oh wow, Jia looks pretty, she looks interested--click, click, click. NO! That is all wrong. Most models are humans, just like you. And humans want to be tortured. Look at how much time you spend on social media. Do you think it is because it makes you feel good? Get real.

I am awfully hungry but Zach Venice said that I couldn't leave my desk until I finished writing this update's caption. Such a prick. Zeta BB is sensational here. Very few women understand how to tease in baggy street clothes and without a lick of makeup. I am so glad that Whole Foods does not sell razors. That's right. Every woman you see shopping there sports a thick ole bush under them mom jeans. Pssh, I wish. Give me as much Zeta as possible. More to come. Liver King, out!

This is simply a voluptuous woman having loads of fun splashing in the sea at dusk. I will fully admit that this set could be more consolidated, but I was determined to capture Vyeta's energy for as long as it lasted. And it lasted a long while. Vyeta was cold before she even got in the water, but she strikes me as a person who realizes that her time on this earth is limited, so she better make the most of it. Don't stay comfortable.

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Naomi Woods and I visit the Loews Beach Hotel in Santa Monica. We valet-parked her dragons and had the slave army check out the Promenade. Then, we got to down to business. Bonus pics and video of our own Zishy Khaleesi will soon follow.

Thanks to some of you for paying me to fulfill this interesting occupation. I am not going to be buying gold Versace thongs anytime soon, like some douchey producers I know, but any revenue is just the cherry on top. The real reward is less tangible but more visceral. Imagine if you were given the opportunity to have women like Alyssa Weiber strip and tease you in a TJ Maxx on some random Tuesday evening. That is a pretty good existence, right? I must have done something noble in a past life.

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Tiffany Drake finally returns. We went to some Chinese joint for noodles and then to a small park in an upscale neighborhood. Tiffany turned the heads of a few lucky gardeners and dogwalkers. I used to love photographing all types of people. But I soon realized that most people make for shit subjects when compared to beautiful young women in their physical prime. You do whatever you want, but I only have so many years with this failing body. I'm gonna soak up as many cheap thrills as possible.

I am back with a wonderful update featuring Gia Ohmy. Sure, she has tried to have me canceled, but I still like her. The problem was that I was slow as molasses getting her copies of the content we shot together, which oddly I am under no obligation to do. This filled her sweet little heart with rage and so Gia decided to talk trash about me online. Meh, we all make mistakes. Water off a duck's butt. She did drive me around in her Benzo and was quite friendly in person. Who knew?

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