I have lived in Santa Barbara since I was a boy, breathing in the coastal air, gazing at colorful sunsets which lingered over the Pacific Ocean. I did everything right. Went to school, got a job, got married, you know, the whole number. But these days, the world seems to be caving in on itself. The decline has always been present but felt much slower earlier in my life. And now it seems to have picked up an insane momentum. I feel so empty with everything that I do. I am constantly either on edge or feebly trying to distract myself from the horrors of our reality. Yes, OUR reality. It isn't even about me anymore. Now this is about all of us. That makes me even more sad. --discarded poem found at beach parking lot in 2018. What a pussy.