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"The Call Her Daddy host asked what she considered a profound question. Can you think of a law that gives the government the power to make a decision about a man's body? The absent-minded presidential candidate, chuckled and said she couldn't think of any. Some critics might present obvious arguments like an involuntary military draft or perhaps even imprisonment, but what about something as simple as narcotics use? I am pretty sure the government tells us all that if we ingest certain chemicals, we become criminals. Hell, Tommy Chong got 9 months for selling bongs! And what about it being unlawful to drop a deuce on your own front yard? Too many damn rules. So ladies, don't worry. You're not being singled out here."
Not a huge number of photos in this one but there are over 5 minutes of bonus video shot by contributor Robert Graham of Kahlisa Boonyasak. Kahlisa has lived in Bangkok for nearly all the 46 years of her life. She loves reading Harry Potter and is a virtuoso at badminton. She once saved a man from drowning in the harbor with only the help of a glowstick and some chicken wire. Kahlisa runs the number eight comedy podcast in all of Southeast Asia. Her style is brash, but cleverly masks a deeply thoughtful and compassionate agenda. Stay crispy.
Michele James will go down as one of the best women to have ever soaked in this bathtub. And I'm pretty sure it has seen a few. It is hard not to photograph a woman bathing when you have access to a tub like this. The natural light varied between ideal and awful, which explains a few of the grainier photos. Just the same, Michele's captivating figure is a subject that demands perseverance. I am throwing in a great pic at the end that her lucky boyfriend snapped. Not bad, my dude. Bet that cheesecake was worth every penny. Bonus video tomorrow.
Bonnie Luntz loves to embrace a challenge. She goes after what she wants and is unapologetic about it. Her set of purple plugs is a symbol of her determination. Another great thing about Bonnie is that she rarely ceases to smile. Even when global warming has pushed heat waves into late November, she is full of positivity. Deep down, she knows that no matter how bad this existence of ours gets, there is always a silver lining. Life will continue, somewhere, somehow.
"Here is part two of Hazel's finale. She makes Mexico proud. It is difficult to find such a natural wonder that also has little to no sexual inhibitions. When you encounter a special woman like Hazel, you gotta be damn sure you treat them well. But equally important, make sure you send them my way. Thanks."
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Contestant 10 is from Belarus. The government there, for some reason, has decided to still allow their football (soccer) leagues to continue play. They say it is a desperately needed outlet for entertainment. In fact, the Belarusian president says the secret to beating the virus is to stay positive. Can't breathe? Skip the ventilator, put on a happy face.
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Walking around the city barefoot can be dangerous, but so can flashing on the rooftop of a parking structure in the midst of filled office buildings. When Zeta BB had no qualms with either, I knew that the right kind of woman was in front of me. Sometimes we worry about getting caught, but then we remember the real worries of life ... the war, the terrorism, the human trafficking, the melting planet, the ever-approaching end to our discontented existence. Meh. A little nudity ain't gonna hurt no one. I will be adding a bonus video to this update soon.
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Dannell Norfolk shops at Costco because they sell reasonably priced tubs of coconut oil. I have heard that this oil makes for great lube, but I have also heard that it is a horrible idea. You can find opposing views on everything these days. For instance, rhino horn powder. Everyone knows that it makes men super virile, but no one agrees if you should mix it into your morning smoothie or sprinkle it on scramby eggs. We will figure it out eventually. Here is another great gallery for you to steal and spread all over the internets. Enjoy.
"Here is part one of our finale with Sybil Kuechler. She is such a great partner for this type of work. She only knows how to give her true self to the camera. Sybil is also a solid competitor at table tennis, but I had to show her that, like in all things, there are levels to this game. Part two this weekend."
Vero Biketi got off work and had to get herself out of that greasy uniform. You could still smell those fries. McDonalds is not good for you but sometimes life is like marital sex: better than nothin'.
Hopeless SoFrantic is the type of person that could make me leave my high-ranking position in the Riders Of The Afterlife. I would never again dissect any of the local fauna. No more experiments or projects involving pool cleaning supplies and captured pets. No more seagull trials. Alright, who am I kidding? You all know that I don't have time for cults or mischief that doesn't involve photographing gorgeous women like Hopeless. This is my addiction. And Hopeless is a hell of an enabler.
Gabbie Carter thinks she would make a horrible stripper, claiming that her dance moves would embarrass herself. Oh nonsense! Any stripclub owner would sacrifice their firstborn just to have Gabbie make an unannounced special appearance on their mainstage. For a minute, I thought Gabbie's lack of confidence as a dancer would prohibit her participation in the ZishTok series, but no, her generous and funloving nature quickly launched Gabbie into movement. She also loves Grimes, so that definitely helps. Keep bumpin', Ms. Carter.Gabbie Carter thinks she would make a horrible stripper, claiming that her dance moves would embarrass herself. Oh nonsense! Any stripclub owner would sacrifice their firstborn just to have Gabbie make an unannounced special appearance on their mainstage. For a minute, I thought Gabbie's lack of confidence as a dancer would prohibit her participation in the ZishTok series, but no, her generous and funloving nature quickly launched Gabbie into movement. She also loves Grimes, so that definitely helps. Keep bumpin', Ms. Carter.Gabbie Carter thinks she would make a horrible stripper, claiming that her dance moves would embarrass herself. Oh nonsense! Any stripclub owner would sacrifice their firstborn just to have Gabbie make an unannounced special appearance on their mainstage. For a minute, I thought Gabbie's lack of confidence as a dancer would prohibit her participation in the ZishTok series, but no, her generous and funloving nature quickly launched Gabbie into movement. She also loves Grimes, so that definitely helps. Keep bumpin', Ms. Carter.Gabbie Carter thinks she would make a horrible stripper, claiming that her dance moves would embarrass herself. Oh nonsense! Any stripclub owner would sacrifice their firstborn just to have Gabbie make an unannounced special appearance on their mainstage. For a minute, I thought Gabbie's lack of confidence as a dancer would prohibit her participation in the ZishTok series, but no, her generous and funloving nature quickly launched Gabbie into movement. She also loves Grimes, so that definitely helps. Keep bumpin', Ms. Carter.
Carolina Firenze is another great find by Mitia in Italy. Supposedly, they faced a lot of risk to bring us these images shot right in the heart of tourist central. I have never been to the real Venice, but it is on my bucket list. I predict it will be hard to top this adventure of Mitia and Carolina's.
Before you ask, the only things fake on Wanda Ablee are her hair color and her nails. I met her in the suburbs outside of Dallas. Like most people in this wonderful state, she has an easygoing personality, albeit she is less conservative than your average Texan. Get naked on the side of the George Bush Turnpike? Sounds fun, just keep an eye out for my brother's red pickup truck.
I know that most of you are here for my financial advice. You wanna learn how to roll up like a big G in a tricked out Honda Accord. Look, I get it. Here's what you do. Borrow 5 large from your mom's boyfriend and invest into Zishcoin. The gains will be massive. Let's face it, you are not going to be getting a job any time soon and that whole iPad repair business idea you had is never gonna pan out. Actual work is so Old World. You want easy money and this is where Zishcoin comes in. I am opening up the ICO to subscribers only through the end of June. Send in your useless Bitcoins and I'll swap them for 5x of equivalent value in Zishcoin with zero transaction fees. Thanks. Back soon with more content. Here's the second coming of Chase Jenaro.
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And now a farewell to another special girl, Patience Dolder. This lanky, quirky beauty is not ashamed of her powerful sexuality. Since these were taken, Patience returned to Colorado to start a family. I am guessing it was with a guy who she dated for years, but took a break from while she sowed some of her wild oats via Zishy and other experiences. I was happy to oblige and do my part. Sometimes, I wonder how this freaky vegan is raising her child and carrying on with her life. But I'll be damned if I am going to jump on Facebook and do any research. Facebook sucks.
Oooh, I hate those people who disagree with my views on climate change, racism, privacy, abortion, pornography, the global pandemic. How the hell does everyone not see it my way? I watch the real news, you know, the completely unbiased one that isn't after advertising dollars or clicks. The one that isn't owned by a billion-dollar corporation. The one that just tells me the facts. No opinion. No agenda. Just facts. Yeah, I watch that one. Let's divide this country down the middle. The smart people on one side and the idiots on the other. Never mind the laughter of our approaching adversaries. Divide!
It is pretty hard not to fall in love with the nature in the Pacific Northwest, especially when isn't raining. I was visiting friends in Portland and as luck would have it, Peach Kennedy was in town doing the same. We linked up one morning and took a stroll in Mount Tabor Park. Peach eventually ended up without any clothes on, but due to legal reasons, I can't show you those images. Just kidding, more to come.
You might not like inked girls. You might hate seeing their ears with dangling gauges. I feel you. I prefer natural in almost every possible way. But then there comes along women like Kelly Lamprin. A person like her challenges me to accept individualism. Just as I don't want others to impose their tastes on my life, I need to realize that people want to do their own thing as well. I definitely do not have to photograph everyone, but I owe it to myself to photograph anyone that attracts me. Kelly still gets my vote.
I have succumbed to another late-night, wacky-ass, possibly brilliant idea. I will be running a contest over the next 2 weeks or so, asking women to snap photos of themselves while they are quarantined at home. You will have to be a Zishy subscriber to see the faces of these bold females. Here is the first contestant. She is stuck somewhere in Wisconsin with her family. Fortunately, She has enough alone time to participate in the challenge. She reached out, being a longtime fan of Zishy. Believe it or not, she is even a subscriber. Rad.
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I get the feeling that Mallory Christopher has the giving spirit inside her. She got a kick from watching students walk by as we took these photos. People that value the happiness of others are the salt of the Earth. This holiday season, try not to think about what stuff you can give to your friends and family. Everyone has enough stuff. It seems most people are hungry for human connection. Sit down with a friend, hold a meaningful conversation, lose your phone for a couple of hours. Let an elderly woman feel you up. I dunno. Think outside the box. Merry Crispy.
One of the sweetest, most innocent deviants you will ever meet. Ashley Lane strikes me as a performer who truly loves her work. She is the type of woman who makes you question the fact that porn is completely fake. Ashley is into being tied up, so I asked her to give me a quick demonstration. I can't tie for shit, so she had to do it on her own. Next time, I will be prepared (probably not).
If you are a young man or woman looking at these photos and wondering why you don't see too many people prancing around like Tiffany Drake here, it is because this is fantasy. This is entertainment. Just like you don't see many people trying to kill each other inside a cage on a routine basis, yet they do it in the UFC. Intellectuals think that porn is giving a misguided sex education to today's youth. Yes, there are many morons out there who grow up thinking your average woman wants to be choked and spit on. But on the whole, I give youth more credit. They will learn by trial and error just like we did. They will understand what is reality and what is entertainment. They will smirk at our fantasies the way we now smirk at I Love Lucy. Or maybe gangbangs will just be the norm. Who cares?
I had to travel to San Diego to see this if this incredible, tall, hairy, freaky woman actually existed. Good news, she does! Dubsie could tell that the pandemic had taken its toll on my soul. She drove me to a nearby beach for some much needed relaxation. For a minute there, it felt like California was California again. But then someone asked for my preferred pronouns. Total buzzkill.
Zach Venice, someone needs to explain to you that certain things are sacred. You might find it absurd that mobs of people are obsessed with watching grown men play a game with a ball. You might ponder what this has anything to do with higher education. You might ask why sports have become the new religion. Well friendo, it is because you are an idiot. You need to be institutionalized. Stay away from our stadiums or we will make sausage out of you. As for Ursula Hall, she was just another victim of your brainwashing.
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I flew to Denver to photograph a tall, leggy, gorgeous blonde named Dannell Norfolk. The temperatures were icy cold, but you could have fooled me. This incredible woman can thaw out the chilliest of bones. Dannell has the looks to pull off snooty fashion editorials, yet also has the nerves to flash a camera at her neighborhood diner. Women like this AND weed? I hope I die and go to Colorado.
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"This was a quick set of photos that I took of Melba Chastain in Texas. Turns out that we live in the same area. This time, she was sporting more of a tan than the last time I saw her. Melba seems so refined and female. Her smooth bronzed skin, paired with long lustrous hair--she probably puts a lot of effort into her appearance. I will have to try that for myself one day. Part 2 soon is what I'm thinking."
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The tats might give away the identity of Contestant 21 for those of you who follow porn like I used to back in my early twenties. She is from Venezuela, but now lives in Spain. I somehow have managed to put myself in a situation where incredible women like this will send me nudes from across oceans during a global pandemic. See her face in the members area. No one likes a cheapo. Shot with the Xiaomi Mi
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